the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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