I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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