ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
