Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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