I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
