Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
