whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
