dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize