I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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