Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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