They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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