just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
