I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
