this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
