the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
