I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can I color on your dick again?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
