she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
