is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
