Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
