Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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