happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
