i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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