i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
then he tried to convert me to islam
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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