Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
