Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
two words: eviction party
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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