The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
