he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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