Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My vagina just clenched in fear
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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