i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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