no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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