your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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