if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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