I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i think i have two assholes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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