I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
