Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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