I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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