He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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