I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
