Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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