There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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