well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
