She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
