You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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