Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just found puke in my bra..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
