i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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