Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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