community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
