I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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