I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can I color on your dick again?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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