i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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