Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
