weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
