We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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