Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
