I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
