The best revenge is premature balding
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
