Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
