This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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