i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize