I hate your face
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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