And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
