Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
