You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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