in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
