This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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