Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
