this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
