theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
