Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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