My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize